(An announcement awaits towards the end of this post!!!)
A whole week has passed since my last post, Dinner with Grief, which was a bit of an energetic outpour. I took some rest time from anything creative for the week and focused on going for walks to clear my mind instead.
We are now currently experiencing our only cold front of this winter season, up to negative thirty nights with slightly warmer days. This year has been the first winter I’ve joyfully experienced since being a child, likely due to the mild weather and lack of long distance travel we have done this year. But this cold front has snapped me back into hermit mode, unmotivated to conquer the cold more than what’s needed. Alas, this post is not about my cold weather woes. Nothing close of the sort.
A distant aunt gifted me a book on Tarot, Palmestry, and the Zodiac when I was fourteen. It felt like an invitation into the world of witchcraft, which appealed to me at the time, as did things like paganism… Prior to this experience, I discovered magic and spells when I was eight. Not an interest that lasted long. Story for another day… At that time in my life and for over a decade to follow, I didn’t consider much of God’s presence in my life, but I did welcome and practice a flourishing and fruition of my relationship with Gaia, and felt that these tools were ways I could connect and communicate with Spirit. My intuition and the psychic abilities I did have, were things I learned to profoundly cherish and nurture, even when at times socially out casted as a result.
I purchased my first oracle deck when I was nineteen, “Messages from your animal Spirit Guides” by Steven Farmer. For the most part, I used this deck to pull a card daily, and I would usually place that card on my altar for some time… a practice I continue to this day.
It actually wasn’t until the summer of 2020 where my collection really began and grew, 100% in thanks to my partner, Curtis. He saw how much sincere and pure joy (as well as empowerment, connection to self and to Source) that came from doing readings. I started tuning in on collective readings, finding a few favorites (Shonnetta’s Divine Tarot, QueenTayTarot, to name my top two). Some of their collective readings cracked open my heart and allowed me to acknowledge long hidden truths within myself that had been blatantly ignored. Those readings helped me become a better version of myself, and inspired me to want to help others reach for the same.
So I started doing readings for myself by intuitively listening to which decks to use, how many of them to use, how many cards to pull and how to pull them – the information just came flooding in. Downloads. In time, I started to offer readings for close friends and family. They seemed to deeply resonate with the messages given to them, which helped them find solace and resolve. I looked at this practice not as a form of witchcraft or occultism but rather a method of communication, connecting with Source in order to help bring clarity to peoples lives. Clarity came through the cards.
Later in the year and ever since, I started diving back in deep to my faith of God. Curt and I both purchased study bibles and spend Sunday’s reading and learning the Word of God. I felt a disconnect within my soul the longer I ignored this part of myself.. knowing that wholeness would be achieved only in acknowledging the powers and energy of both God and Gaia. I had for so long focused solely on Mother Earth. In this wholeness, the balance between, I found greater connection to myself and my intuitive voice. A deeper connection with my spirituality. I feel that in making this connection, I opened a door within that allowed me to hear that inner voice more clearly, helping release doubt and anxiety.
Several months and seven tarot/oracle decks later, and we arrive to near present day. I had a friend recently tell me to be careful practicing Tarot – that in fact I should give it up altogether, as it was in fact an act against God, a practice ultimately residing in evil influences with the sole purpose of taking me away, or distracting me from God.
Well that was interesting. Disheartening to say the least.
It shook me. I put down my cards for some time in contemplation of how this information settled in my heart. And to be honest – it didn’t settle well. I needed to dive into why.
In times like these, when you begin to doubt something that brings you joy, it’s important to reach down into the foundation of what is. That, for my tarot practice, was my intention. My readings are built on my intention of love, compassion, empathy, respect, acceptance. My intentions are to help provide clarity, whilst using my intuitive voice to help guide them home to their own power and innate wisdom. My intentions have always been of light, from the moment I find a deck and analyze it, feeling it out. I won’t welcome anything in my collection that doesn’t feel beneficial to this practice. I allow my inner guidance to help me find the right decks, and which to use during a reading. When I do a reading, I pray. I ask for protection, I ask for guidance, and I give thanks for allowing me to help someone in this way, myself included. I give thanks for allowing me these connections and the ability to provide clarity, opening doors to personal growth and development.
I see Tarot as a beautiful tool that helps you connect with Spirit and find the answers within yourself. To me, Tarot is an incredibly empowering tool, for all involved. I feel comfortable and confident in my Truth, that Tarot is not an act against or as a distraction from God. I feel this truth especially strong as I pray to Him and Gaia to start every reading. I thank and acknowledge them both as this makes me feel safe in the space of giving readings. I pour loving intentions into each reading, and I meditate on every client I have worked with, sending them love at the beginning and end of their reading. I know all of this accounts for something… more love.
And what so we know for sure?
That Love is the answer.
So, if any of you are struggling with this, or similar, if I may, advise that you dig a little deeper within and really feel things out for yourself. Maybe this is your Hierophant moment, breaking away from the crowd and discovering your own truths and set of beliefs and values. Don’t be afraid to challenge the status quo. You might just (probably will) discover something new about yourself and your unique perspective on being human.
This week, I have begun a huge project. Maybe the biggest I have ever started, and I am not at all put off by that (this is a leap for me). My heart is IN it. That is absolutely the difference. Even a recent reading said that the work would be mundane, and it would take some time getting it all together.. but the end result will blow me away. I know that to be true. So writing the Guidebook to Reading Tarot may be a little mundane at times (lots of research, word stuff, back and forth between notes and typing, webpages and books, proofreading, la di da da da); it’s a 100 page minimum project that I get to work on and watch grow and become whole.
I suspect I will launch by Spring, which still seems so soon. I have full trust in the process. Once the guidebook is complete, I’ll be sharing a template of what the readings will look like. Eventually, you will be able to purchase a reading (through crypto or approved trades for goods/services) through a webpage that I’ll be building (somehow in the next two months lol) to provide this service. Readings will be sent via email and we’ll go from there! I am SO excited to connect!!!
Each reading will be sent via PDF and includes intuitive guidance & self care suggestions based on the reading (comes in the shape of mantras and prayers, recipes, song suggestions, wellness tips, etc). You will be able to choose a reading of:
Or the “Cosmic Connection” (had to) reading which is between 7 and 13 cards!
All in due time. It took a lot of willpower and determination to work through the demons that said “you can’t” or that questioned my why. Stand tall in your Why. In your reason for doing what it is that brings you so much love and so much joy. It shouldn’t be shaken, torn up or taken away for nor by anyone. It feels like for the first time, this project doesnt feel forced, it isn’t expecting or relying on income or success. It simply is. It is just something I genuinely want to do and happily take the chance whenever I can.
If anyone is interested in the meantime, I am offering free readings – sort of – in exchange for feedback and/or testimonials to eventually include on the site. Get in touch by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org .
Like I said. Love is the answer.